Review: DEAD GIRL SING by Tony Cavanaugh

DeadGirlSingDEAD GIRL SING is the second instalment of Tony Cavanaugh’s Queensland based series starring ex-cop-turned-vigilante Darian Richards. He is once again dragged reluctantly from his self-imposed retirement; this time because a young woman whose life he saved in the last book rings him out of the blue and says something along the lines of “only you can help..there are so many bodies” and then promptly vanishes into thin air. Darian contacts local a policewoman he knows in Noosa and asks her to follow it up, which she does by asking a Gold Coast based colleague to check out the location Darian has given. When this policeman also disappears Darian decides he must get more actively involved, whereupon he discovers the bodies of two dead girls in a shallow pool of water in the Gold Coast hinterland, bests the local plods with his super-human intelligence and starts his hunt for the missing girl.

I felt this novel wasn’t so much asking me to suspend my disbelief as demanding I buy it a one-way ticket to Bhutan. There just didn’t seem to be a single realistic element to the novel and that’s a hard sell, especially when a book takes itself as seriously as this one appears to. Darian Richards pontificates lengthily about his superior intellect, detecting skills and ability to apply justice which is topped off with a whole load of self-aggrandizing claptrap from the killer’s point of view and there’s no hint of the tongue in cheek humour I need to make the ‘impossibly brilliant hero’ trope even vaguely interesting to me.

It’s not spoiling anything to reveal that the plot of this novel revolves around human trafficking. Cavanaugh’s ‘take’ on the subject is to make the villain a woman which could have been an interesting twist but the character is completely over the top and I did not find her voice very credible. Eventually we learn the reasons behind Starlight’s behaviour but I didn’t really buy into all that either; it felt more like an awful series of violent vignettes strung together for shock value than an actual person’s story.

I think DEAD GIRL SING belongs more in the old-fashioned Western category – a good (if not always legally sound) guy doing battle with a bad guy (or girl) – than it does in crime fiction. There’s precious little mystery to be had as we learn who the killer is and why the crimes are being committed long before the end and the book focuses instead on the interplay between anti hero and villain. Any vestiges of suspense that might have remained are wiped away by the presence of Isosceles. He’s the mega genius geek that Darian has on permanent speed dial who can hack into anything he pleases at the touch of a button. There really is no tension to be had when the protagonist of a crime story can get out of any jam or find out whatever he needs to know so effortlessly.

Ultimately I suppose this is just not my kind of thing. I found Darian and Starlight to have equally inflated egos and neither they nor their battle of wits engaged me at all. The book doesn’t spend any serious time letting us get to know the victims – apart from via the gruesome violence they suffer – which further disconnected me from goings on. My overriding response to it was boredom.

As always, other opinions are available and here are a couple you might like to check out for balance Bite the Book and Aust Crime Fiction


Publisher: Hachette Australia [2013]
ISBN/ASIN: 9780733627880
Length: 325 pages
Format: paperback
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Review: THE MARMALADE FILES, Steve Lewis & Chris Uhlmann

  • published by Fourth Estate (Harper Collins Australia 2012)
  • ISBN 978-0-7322-9474-8
  • 311 pages
  • Read an extract

Synopsis (Publisher)

A sticky scandal. A political jam. THE MARMALADE FILES will be the most-talked about political satirical thriller of 2012!

An imaginative romp through the dark underbelly of politics by two veteran Canberra insiders. When seasoned newshound Harry Dunkley is slipped a compromising photograph one frosty Canberra dawn  he knows he′s onto something big. In pursuit of the scoop, Dunkley must negotiate the
deadly corridors of power where the minority Toohey Government hangs by a thread – its stricken Foreign Minister on life support, her heart maintained by a single thought. Revenge.

Rabid Rottweilers prowl in the guise of Opposition senators, union thugs wage class warfare, TV anchors simper and fawn … and loyalty and decency have long since given way to compromise and treachery.

From the teahouses of Beijing to the beaches of Bali, from the marbled halls of Washington to the basements of the bureaucracy, Dunkley′s quest takes him ever closer to the truth – and ever deeper into a lethal political game.

Award-winning journalists Steve Lewis of News Ltd and Chris Uhlmann from the ABC combine forces in this arresting novel that proves fiction is stranger than fact.

My Take

Each of the shortish chapters in this novel is headed with a date, starting with June 16 2011, but the reader soon discovers these chapters are not sequential although there is a logic to them. Eventually this sent me to pen and paper to try to make sure I understood the time line.

We begin with Harry Dunkley, press gallery veteran in the National Parliament in Canberra being given a photo that is about 30 years old. He quickly identifies the Cabinet minister who is centre stage but who are the others?  Later on the same day Catriona Bailey, once Labour Prime Minister, but now the Foreign Minister, has a very public stroke on national television.

So Labour’s Toohey government, already an unpopular minority government hanging on by a thread, and predicted to lose the next election, begins a downward spiral. Can things get any worse?

THE MARMALADE FILES is political satire rather than strictly crime fiction, although crimes, including a murder, are committed. There’s a quirky humour from beginning to end, and certainly connections to current Australian politics, even if events have been warped and names changed.

For me, a fascinating read from beginning to end, although the ending strained my sense of credibility.

I’m not sure that THE MARMALADE FILES will have much appeal outside Australia but in case you do want to look for it, try Amazon (Kindle) or the publisher.

My rating: 4.8

And what do Australia’s politicians say? (Do they recognise themselves?)


Other reviews:

Review: DEAD HEAT by Bronwyn Parry

DeadHeatBronwynParry20015_fI am not a fan of the relatively modern trend towards narrower and narrower ‘genrefication’ of fiction because I believe it repels more readers than it attracts (though I’ll admit this is based on anecdotal and experiential evidence rather than the scientific kind). For example, my expectations that something with the ‘romantic suspense’ label would be too mushy for my tastes has put me off reading anything by Australian author Bronwyn Parry until, fuelled by a personal goal to read at least a smattering of books I wouldn’t otherwise read as part of my participation in the Australian Women Writers Challenge, I plunged into Parry’s third novel, DEAD HEAT. Happily for me it’s an absolute ripper of a yarn and its quota of mushy stuff is well within my personal tolerance levels. But I still think the book will miss a lot of readers (including, I’d wager, the entire male population) based on both its explicit and implicit marketing.

The novel takes place in rural New South Wales where Jo Lockwood is a National Parks Ranger. One morning while going about her normal duties she notices a kangaroo carrying the unlikely breakfast of a human arm and when she backtracks to where the roo came from she finds the body of a man who has been brutally murdered. Soon police, including Detective Nick Matheson, are on the scene. Matheson has only been in his job a few days, having recently transferred to ‘normal duties’ after ten years of undercover work. Unfortunately for everyone involved this murder is just one event in a series that will spell danger for the entire community. Be in no doubt, this is no cosy ‘all the violence takes place off-stage’ kind of novel!

It’s clear Bronwyn Parry knows and loves the Australian landscape: through Jo’s eyes in particular the book shows both its beauties and dangers in stark reality. In fact it was more than a little eerie to read such well-described fire fighting scenes on the very day an unseasonally late fire was ripping through bushland a mere 20 kilometres from my safe city cottage this past weekend. The depiction of modern rural life was completed by the inclusion of the kind of community spirit that does engender small town life in Australia, in particular the human powered magic that is Rotary and its equivalent organisations.

The authentic and quite enveloping setting provides an excellent backdrop for the cracking yarn which belied my ‘life’s slower in the country’ belief by not letting me stop for breath even once. There’s a rogue cop, international drug cartel links and a quite alarming number of dead bodies for something partially labelled romance but it all hangs together very nicely and made me eager to turn each page. You won’t be surprised to learn that Jo and Nick do form a romantic attachment but it’s not even remotely mushy and although the path to their love does not run smoothly the obstacles are not the cliché’s I worried about. Their respective back stories are drama-laden but believable and I found myself keen to know how their personal demons would work their way into unfolding events.

DEAD HEAT reminded me a little of Nevada Barr’s terrific series of novels set in American national parks which also feature a female ranger of independent spirit. The combination of evocative setting, suspense-filled plot and solidly built characters was very engaging and I will definitely be reading more of Parry’s work. She has won extra points on my personal scale because her books all seem to be standalones which, in this era of the never ending series, I find refreshing.


awwbadge_2013This is the 9th book I’ve read for this year’s Australian Women Writers Challenge


Publisher: Hachette [2012]
ISBN/ASIN: 9780733625497
Length: 360 pages
Format: paperback
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Review: THE DARKEST LITTLE ROOM by Patrick Holland

The Darkest Little Room - Patr20007fAs THE DARKEST LITTLE ROOM opens we meet Joseph, a 33 year-old expat Australian journalist who has been working in Indochina for some years and is now based in Saigon. As a freelancer he works on whatever stories he can find, using an ex policeman called Minh Quy as his investigator and, to supplement their income, as a fellow conspirator in some low-level blackmail. Joseph also pays a young street kid who calls himself Peter Pan to look for a girl that Joseph has lost touch with but is desperate to find. A German tourists seeks out Joseph and tells him about a club which is more sordid and depraved than all the other brothels in Saigon where, in a place called the darkest little room, a woman has been particularly brutally tortured. The tourist claims he is too scared to go to the police but thinks a journalist may be able to do something about the situation. Despite being warned off by Minh Quy and his rich business man friend Zhuan, Joseph does look into the situation which is about the point his life spirals into a version of madness as he finds (or does he?) the woman he has been looking for and goes on the hunt for her human traffickers.

The thing that struck me first about the novel is that this is not the Vietnam readers may have visited on a two-week package holiday or viewed through the prism of a Sunday afternoon travel show. It is a country in which human life is valued in a way completely foreign to my Australian middle-class existence and in which many people struggle with the grimmest of survivals due to a level of poverty I feel deeply fortunate never to have known. A poverty that those locals who do escape it never wish to think of again as Joseph explains early on

“People in Indochina are not sentimental about poverty. They do not read about it in books written by middle-class men and women who make safe dreams about poverty from a far far distance. So the romantic light in which we cast the condition does not shine, say, on the man at the top of the alley whose legs were blown of in the American War, now sleeping in the shopping trolley that his relatives push him about in; nor on the old woman with cancer, wet and filthy in a steaming house where her sons will not pay for the doctor and the doctor will not work without money and the morphine sits unused in a cupboard at the clinic a street away. All traces of poverty must be banished in Vietnam.” (p23).

This is how Holland lets us know that although he’s not a native he’s intimately familiar with the country. It’s also how he shows us we’re not in for an easy ride with THE DARKEST LITTLE ROOM. Not only will we be troubled by some fairly horrific imagery but we will, in all likelihood, have to confront our own beliefs about how we view and act towards people whose lives are vastly different from our own.

That breathtaking sense of place – the way it is so image-rich and enveloping that it makes you believe you are right there to the point that when the going gets tough (a frequent occurrence)  I wanted to look out my window just to make sure I wasn’t in some seedy Saigon brothel or being chased through a northern Vietnamese jungle – is the only element of this novel about which I am not ambivalent.

About the rest I am not so sure. I’ve been mulling it over for a few days now and doubt I’ll quickly come to any definitive answers so have decided to share my undoubtedly muddled thinking. Apologies in advance.

Most of my ambivalence surrounds the fact that so many elements of the book are familiar…wearily familiar.

I wonder if I have reached my fill, for example, of books in which women are not people. I do understand that a book dealing with a subject like human trafficking must, of necessity, depict many people with the view that women are mere objects but here there is not a solitary individual – not a sidekick (quirky or otherwise), not the protagonist and not the women themselves – who think or behave as if women are anything but things. Things to look at. Things to own and trade. Things to use and discard when the attributes that give them value – youth and beauty – have disappeared. I was hopeful that when Zhuan pointedly asked Joseph why he doesn’t crusade on the part of old whores and junkies (p124) that I might have found a lone voice with at least a slightly different view of women but, as things turn out,…no.

I am bloody tired of this world view, no matter how realistic it might be. There are indicators both inane (a popular Australian panel news show last night had its first all-female panel in 4+ years of being on air and seemed pretty proud to be so ground-breaking in having an all-mum panel to precede this weekend’s Mothers Day) and disturbing (official statistics confirm that over three quarters of Australia’s intimate partner homicides involve a male offender and a female victim) that women still have a long way to go before anything like equality is ours and I am, I think, just heartily fed up with being constantly reminded of my inferior status as a human being in the way that this book does. I read one commentary which I annoyingly can’t find now in which the reader sees the woman at the centre of Joseph’s search as a strong character who fights back against her oppression and objectification using her street smarts but even on a second reflection of proceedings I cannot see this character in this way. I don’t want to spoil things for those of you who read the book so will simply say that the way things finish up for Joseph’s ‘love interest’ is not the way I would want things to finish up for any woman I know.

In a way I suppose my second major area of ambivalence mixed with tiredness at the familiarity of the theme is tied up with the first but it is specifically the elements of Joseph’s character which the author appeared to be putting under a microscope and, by omission, those he left unexplored. In the end this is basically a book about a bloke who believes himself in love with a prostitute, who happens to be extraordinarily beautiful, who he then attempts to rescue. Holland does expose Joseph’s self-righteousness and hypocrisy in an unflattering way but I found it troublesome that other issues were ignored, particularly the fact that the girl was 15 and Joseph 31 when they first met (they are 17 and 33 respectively when the action of the novel takes place). Again it is a case of me being weary of seeing such relationships depicted as normal by virtue of them not being remarked upon.

My final gripe is really only minor in comparison but I’m not convinced the novel is of the crime genre despite its heavy marketing that way. If it is it’s only in the broadest possible sense, in the way say that Ian McEwan’s ATONEMENT might be considered of the genre because there is a crime at the start of it. There are crimes in it but they do not really drive the story and, frankly, only those who’ve read precious little of the genre would be confounded by the mysterious element of the novel. I’m prepared to admit though that my acceptance of what is and isn’t crime fiction tends to be quite fluid and it’s not as if there’s an official standard which the book has failed to meet.

In the end then I found THE DARKEST LITTLE ROOM a troubling book on many levels, only some of which I imagine the author intended and I struggle to recommend it, despite the presence of excellent attributes. I want, absurdly I know, to prevent men from reading one more book in which they see it is basically OK to objectify women and to prevent women from reading one more book in which they are reminded that their second class status as human beings has not, where it counts, been wiped away by a few pieces of legislation. But of course whether you read the book or not those things will still be true.

Publisher: Transit Lounge [2012]
ISBN/ASIN: 9781921924248
Length: 267 pages
Format: paperback
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Review: BAY OF FIRES, Poppy Gee

  • Published by Headline Review 2013
  • ISBN 978-0-7553-8784-7
  • 305 pages
  • Available on Amazon

Synopsis (Hatchett.com)

When the body of a backpacker washes ashore in
an idyllic small town in Tasmania, the close-knit community starts to fall apart. As long-buried secrets start to come out, the delicate balance of their fragile lives is threatened…

Deep in a national park on the east coast of Tasmania, the Bay of Fires is an idyllic holiday community. There are no more than a dozen shacks beside the lagoon – and secrets are hard to keep; the intimacy of other people’s lives is their nourishment.

The fact that Sarah Avery has returned, having left her boyfriend and her job, is cause for gossip in itself. Then, the bikini-clad body of a young girl is found washed up on the beach; a year after another teenage girl went missing. Journalist Hall Flynn is sent to the coast to
investigate, and all too quickly the close-knit community turns in on itself.

My Take

The idyllic holiday community at the Bay of Fires has been meeting each summer for years. But things change, children grow up, parents get older, and at the core of what seems like paradise, decay grows.

It takes Hall Flynn’s outsider’s eye to pick some of the fragility.

Deep in the national park on the east coast of Tasmania, three or four hours by car from Launceston, Bay of Fires is sufficiently isolated to make communications slow. The novel is set over the Christmas Day to New Year’s Day holidays.

This time the dead person is an outsider, a backpacker, and no-one is willing to put everything together. The shack owners don’t reveal all they know. Just twelve months earlier one of their own children disappeared without trace and the sea conveniently bore the blame for that too.

Poppy Gee does a clever job of weaving sub-plots, such as why Sarah Avery has come home and why Hall Flynn is not romantically attached, in with the main mystery of what happened to the backpacker.  The tension between the shack owners and the incoming campers is well depicted, as is the willingness to blame a local resident who is not “normal”. Investigating the backpacker’s death is carried out by Sarah and Hall, sometimes together, sometimes independently.

The setting almost plays the role of another character and certainly sent me off researching.

This was an engaging and refreshing read, another new author to watch.

My rating: 4.3

About the Author

Poppy Gee was born in Launceston, Tasmania in 1977. She spends every
summer with her family at their shack in the Bay of Fires. This novel
was written as part of a Masters in Creative Writing, at the University
of Queensland, which Poppy completed in 2011. This is Poppy’s first
published fiction. She has worked as a journalist, editor and book
reviewer and currently teaches journalism and creative writing. Poppy
lives in Queensland with her husband and two beautiful children. She has
nearly completed her next novel, another literary thriller set in the
Tasmanian ski village Ben Lomond.

Author’s website

Review: HARRY CURRY: THE MURDER BOOK by Stuart Littlemore

Harry Curry - Littlemore, Stua19912fThis is the second book to feature the eponymous character, a Sydney barrister known for his blunt talking and somewhat anti-establishment leanings and Arabella Engineer, his sometime junior partner and lover. Between them the lawyers tackle a series of murder cases with the focus being on different legal aspects to the cases rather than the crimes at the centre of those cases. There is, for example, a man who unexpectedly pleads guilty to a swag of unsolved murders and Arabella is concerned with trying to attract a sentence lesser than life without the possibility of parole for their client. Another case involves a young man being charged with the murder of the paedophile who abused him for more than a decade but it’s the intricacies of whether the death is the direct result of the client’s actions or not and, if so, whether such action was performed with forethought that occupy Harry and Arabella on this occasion.

I imagine the book offers a realistic picture of the way the legal system operates in this country. Its author is a QC (still active) and there’s every reason to suppose he’s put his extensive knowledge of the strengths and weaknesses of the system to good use. Focusing only on legal questions, such as how one might handle a case so that it attracts one kind of sentence over another or how to build a case requiring extensive specialist medical knowledge, is a relatively rare thing in crime fiction and one I took a while to warm to. On reflection though it was a good approach as it allowed the author to delve in-depth into issues that “we” (i.e. the non-lawyers in the readership) only ‘know’ from a steady diet of Law & Order episodes. I did find that the lack of attention to the crimes – and by extension the victims and/or perpetrators of those crimes – made the book a little dry in places but I suspect that my need for a more emotional connection to the people at the heart of these stories is (a) one of several reasons I’d make a truly lousy lawyer and (b) not relevant as the book aims, I think, to do something legitimately different than reveal the ‘why’ of the series of crimes.

The characterisations are a little obvious, with Harry Curry’s main personality traits (ugly, irascible, intolerant, clever) being stamped on the book’s cover (literally), and not particularly deep but they are engaging.The relationship between Harry and Arabella has its tensions with the professional side of it requiring Harry to take on a mentoring role while on the personal side both are cautious and still learning where they stand, especially as they are at such different points in their careers. Harry’s decision to sell his Sydney home and move part-time to a farm in the hinterland puts an added pressure on the couple. Their dialogue though is a treat, even if more aspirational than realistic. It is full of the sorts of clever, witty and appropriate lines that everyone wishes they could use in real life but usually only thinks of hours after the need has passed.  

My nagging fears (which put me off reading the first book) that this series might be nothing more than a clever bit of marketing fluff from its celebrity author proved completely unfounded, though I do have a suspicion that one of the biggest markets for it is members of the Sydney legal fraternity who must pass many happy moments working out which real-life people and cases the fictional ones are based on. But other readers should enjoy it too, especially locals, like me, have almost by osmosis absorbed up a lot of American law over the years and are interested in an Australian take on the subject. There is by the end a real sense that the reader has been provided with genuine insight into the practice of law in this country and the complexities of all cases, even the supposedly open and shut ones. I admit my liking for this one appeared as a slow burn rather than an immediate rush of affection but in the end I found it a very satisfying read and one I would recommend to those in the market for something a little out of the ordinary.


Publisher: Harper Collins [2012]
ISBN: 9780732293437
Length: 328 pages
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Review: IN HER BLOOD, Annie Hauxwell

Synopsis (Penguin Australia)

Everyone is hooked on something.

It’s not that easy to kick the money habit. After the world meltdown forces London’s bankers to go cold turkey, people look elsewhere for a quick quid: the old
fashioned East End.

So when investigator Catherine Berlin gets an anonymous tip-off about a local loan shark, the case seems straightforward – until her informant is found floating in the Limehouse
Basin.

In another part of town, a notorious doctor is murdered in his surgery, and his entire stock of pharmaceutical heroin stolen. An unorthodox copper is assigned to the case, and Berlin finds herself a reluctant collaborator in a murder investigation.

Now Berlin has seven days to find out who killed her informant, why the police are
hounding her and, most urgently of all, where to find a new – and legal – supply of the drug she can’t survive without.

My Take

I love coming across new voices in Australian crime fiction and Annie Hauxwell’s first novel was well worth the read.

Set in contemporary London it took me into a world I hadn’t visited before and set up some connections I hadn’t thought about before: an agency that investigates financial irregularities and outsources information to London police; a fraud investigator with a drug addiction; a very nasty loan shark with connections to regular finance; a doctor who dispenses heroin under legitimate licence; an anti-drugs campaigner who provides addiction counselling.

At the centre of it all is Catherine Berlin, an unusual protagonist in a number of ways.

The case conference with the Murder and Serious Crime Squad was perfunctory. The men at the table regarded Berlin with indifference. She was just a civilian investigator with a regulatory agency. At fifty-five her lean frame was tending to look wasted. Her hair, once blonde, was now a dirty melange of grey, streaked with tarnished gold.

Annie Hauxwell has a real flair for description and her characters truly come alive.

The other thing she does well is suspense and I found myself almost holding my breath as the book drew to its close and the final threads came together.

My rating: 4.7

About the author

Annie Hauxwell was born in London and emigrated with her family to Australia when she was a teenager. She abandoned the law to work as an investigator for a private firm, and after working as a screenwriter she turned her hand to novels. She now lives in
Castlemaine, Victoria, and travels to London frequently.

#2 in the Catherine Berlin series: A BITTER TASTE  coming soon

Other reviews to check

Review: THE RICHMOND CONSPIRACY, Andrew Grimes

Synopsis (Text Publishing)

Victor Radcliffe, prominent Melbourne businessman, on the committee of the Carlton Football Club, lies murdered in a deserted warehouse—the bayonet wound suggests a trained killer, but Police
Inspector James Maclaine, and his smart-taking sidekick Harry Devlin, are having trouble tracking down the killer.

Why do the members of Radcliffe’s household seem strangely offhand about his murder? Was there a woman on the scene of the crime? As for the woman in Maclaine’s life, his marriage is on the skids and he can’t keep his nightmares away. The Praetorian Guard, a shadowy group of WW1 army veterans, keep
showing up, as does the charming step-daughter of the deceased.

Set in the summer of the Bodyline cricket series The Richmond Conspiracy is a crime mystery about men who have returned after war and are refugees in their own land—old certainties have vanished, betrayal is in the air, and Maclaine has to determine exactly where justice lies.

My Take

Andrew Grimes is one of a growing batch of Australian authors setting their crime fiction post World War One , particularly in the 1930s.  [Kerry Greenwood, Geoff McGeachin, and Sulari Gentill]. And here is another one where the setting and story are a good match.

Set in 1933 where things are not going so well in Melbourne or indeed anywhere in Australia. Some returned soldiers have been unable to find either work or the excitement they experienced in the war and Australia has slipped into the economic depression. Fascist groups like the Praetorian Guard look with envy on what appears to be stability of places in Europe like Italy. The murder of Victor Radcliffe looks like soldier’s work, even down to the Turkish bayonet still at the site. Victorian policeman James Maclaine soon discovers links to World War One legacies, hatreds and rivalries that still exist.

Although in essence this is a police procedural, in reality we see little of the workings of the Russell Street station where Maclaine and Devlin are located. But there is plenty of human interest and the tale moves at a good pace, the historical setting feels authentic, and the plot resolves nicely. A good start from a new author. A series is promised so here is a chance to get in at the beginning.

My rating: 4.4

About the author.

Review: CHASING THE SUN by Robin Baker

Chasing The Sun - Baker, Robin19900fWhen I first heard about the phenomenon of NA (New Adult) fiction I thought it was a joke…a satirical take on the whole YA explosion. But it’s a thing. Apparently. One I thought pretty bloody unnecessary until I read CHASING THE SUN. Now I suspect today’s twenty-somethings really do need their own special category of reading material because this tale written by someone in that age group about people who are, at least ostensibly, in that age group whose lives consist of clubbing, killing and surviving perpetual ennui is so entirely foreign to me that it may as well be in another language.

It is narrated, with stultifyingly dull and clichéd dialogue peppered with words like ‘dude’ and ‘cool’ and ‘baby’, by a chap known as Honda. Honda Civic. He provides Feng Shui consultations for the rich and gormless but deliberately tells them to do exactly the things that will ensure their household energies will never be harmonious. But Honda’s real focus is on finding people to kill. He goes clubbing with his friends Grace, Dante, Johnnie and the other one whose name I forget where they take drugs, pick up people and kill them.

The twist? They’re all vampires (though that actual word is not, I think, ever used).

Which, I assume, explains why the dead have no names or personalities. They are ‘the blonde’ and ‘the footballer’ or ‘the backpackers’ and their lives, and deaths, mean as much to Honda and his pals as the squashing of an ant does to normal humans. Here’s an example of the kind of thing I’m talking about. Johnnie (Walker…get it?) comes up to Honda in a club one night and as they high five each other says

“What’s black and blue and hates sex?…The Asian kid I’ve got tied up in the back of my car…”

Trust me, your reaction to that joke (?) is gonna be a pretty good indicator of your reaction to the whole book.

The other thing that will have an influence on your reaction to the book is the depth of your personal knowledge of vampire lore. Mine is very shallow and so quite a few things that happened here made no sense at all to me. I was not however interested enough to google their meaning. I don’t really mean to sound dismissive and I truly don’t believe that characters in fiction have to be likeable to be readable or interesting. But surely they have to show at least a flicker of engagement with their world if the reader is supposed to become ensnared by it for long enough to get to the end of the tale? The people populating this world were bored with it from page one and I just couldn’t see why I should be more interested in it than they were. Perhaps I was meant to find drama in the fact that the hunters became the hunted but I really couldn’t because…well…vampires aren’t real and I know that.

After what seemed like an extremely long time to me but was probably only 50 or so pages of the clubbing, killing and sitting around being bored shtick Honda is hired to undertake the Feng Shui of a new club called Immortality being built by someone with an even more mysterious air than the gang of five. Independently of that a vampire, not one of this particular gang but someone they know, is killed. All of this leads Honda to a change in his life, one that can basically be boiled down to him learning, after several hundred years or whatever, that time flies. Who knew?

And so we come to the point of this review which is that I have added another item to the list. The list of things my 13 year-old self promised she would never do. Work in an office. Get into the left lane 5 kilometres before needing to actually turn left and despite the presence of a convoy of slow-moving vehicles. Vote for a conservative candidate. And, now, complain about young people. I assume to them this book is funny. Or ironic. Or wish fulfilment. Or some combination thereof but to me (for the record I’m 45) it’s just…nothingness. Despite being sold as a comic thriller it read more like mild and rather dull horror. But if you’re twenty something and you’ve read it could you explain it to me?


Publisher Pantera Press [2012]
ISBN/ASIN 9781921997068
Length 252 pages
Format paperback

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Musings: GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS by Maggie Groff

Good News, Bad News - Groff, M19907fThe second novel to feature Byron Bay based investigative journalist Scout Davis sees the heroine on the trail of a man thought to have died 30 years previously. She is first contacted by Hermione Longfellow who claims that a man whose photograph appeared in that week’s newspaper was the same Mick O’Leary who had married her sister Nemony in 1983 and was thought to have drowned a few months later while sailing in Sydney Harbour during a freak storm. According to Hermione her sister has been in a deep depression since her husband’s death and she wants Scout to prove that far from being a grieving widow Nemony should be angry about O’Leary’s faked death and potential disappearance with the bulk of her inheritance.

The investigative thread of this book speeds along nicely and is full of suspense, especially the final quarter which sees Scout and her friend Daisy on the trail of their prey in Queensland’s gorgeous Whitsunday Islands. In what is something of a rarity for crime fiction without a murder in sight Groff doese a nice job of making the reader care about the Longfellow sisters and the impact of Mick O’Leary’s sudden appearance then disappearance in their lives and it’s not hard to share the characters’ desire to see the bad guy get his comeuppance. The fact that the entire book takes place against a backdrop of some fantastically depicted locations, especially Byron Bay is a bonus.

An equal amount of this novel’s space is taken up with Scout’s non-investigative activities which includes a secret life as a yarn bomber, a complicated love-life and a sister, four nephews and a brother-in-law who are in a bit of a pickle. Personally I found this all a bit too chick lit-y for my tastes, especially as every time she appeared we got a detailed description of Scout’s outfits (fashion and I are complete strangers), but I  am positive a lot of readers are looking for exactly this kind of combination. Scout’s well-rounded home life offers most of the book’s funnier moments and her family, including her faithful feline companion Chairman Meow, and friends are nicely drawn characters.

I do think the book is too long at 360+ pages for what is not a terribly complicated story but the publishing world seems to have universally agreed that bigger is better some time during the last decade and at some point I’m just going to have to accept that I’m the lone voice who still believes that less is more. Overall this is a very readable, very Australian, lighter style crime novel that I’m sure will have a broad appeal.


awwbadge_2013GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS is the 7th novel I’ve read for this year’s Australian Women Writers challenge


Publisher: Pan Macmillan Australia [2013]
ISBN/ASIN: 9781742611938
Length: 369 pages
Format: paperback
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